What Memes Do the Memes Spread?

1. I am unable to get over how adorable this video of Feist on Seasame Street is.
2. Similarly, this Bert and Ernie Rap makes me smile.
3. Apparently, there is a Firefly knitting fan club which make's Jayne Hats as featured in the episode "The Message"
4. Finally I have a kid with a strong opinion on turtles.

Servant of the Meme

Do all the following describe you?

• Secret dreams of becoming an evil scientist super villain?
• Weakness for stories about nerds pining over girls?
• Love of clever musical sequences?
• Joss fanboy/girl?

If so, then you are me, and it is kind of pathetic to be reading your own blog.

If 3 of the 4 of those describe you then you might enjoy Joss Whedon's new project Dr Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, because it's the best thing ever created.

I think it's fair to say that it owes a bit to Jonathan Coulton's songs Skullcrusher Mountain and The Future Soon, but in practice it's so much more.

I predict in 100 years it will be some sort of video bible for a flourishing and deeply meaningful religion.

In any case, you can only watch it for free until July 20th, so mark your calendar to watch all the acts this weekend.

The Morning After

I wake up this morning, and paw at the rumpled and empty political sheets next to me.

He seemed so charming during last night's primary. That smile, how compassionate and idealistic he seemed, we agreed on pretty much everything! He was a rebel but with a determination that made it seem like he would change the system no matter what the odds! He was like Han Solo and Che Guevara's affable roommate.

Now, normally I can tell when guys are just trying to sweet talk me into getting me into bed. They agree a bit too quickly with what I say, talk themselves up, lead in with the same tired old lines. But he seemed different. He put me at ease, used self-deprecating humor, it was all too good to be true.

Of course I had looked him up before that. His myspace page was really great, it had a ton of interesting things on it.

But I look at it this morning, and it's like he's a different person, like he adjusts his page based on what sorority is throwing the next big party.

Now, one night stands are nothing new, and you almost come to expect it from the likes of *them*. But this time hurt all the more because he led me to believe it was real. That it was the start of something.

He's probably had to rush home to start brushing up on his bible phrases to land one of those "christian" skanks over at Alpha Delta Chi this weekend...

I need a hot shower.

Toxic Memes

In the early "Ohs" I had a subscription to the magazine Adbusters. Which is run by graphic designers attempting to combat conspicuous consumption via the same flashy graphics used to promote it

It was also the first (and only) time I heard the idea that the current media environment is "toxic" to our minds. That the mind has the built in susceptibility to not being able to think about something, and that the concentrated effort of everyone who wants to make some money off that fact is "bad" for you.

At the time, I thought they were speaking of "metaphoric" toxicity. That it was a useful idea to express the sort of general stress that attempts to manipulate our "wants" can produce.

I got to see WALL-E this last Friday, which is relevant for two very disparate reasons. The first, is the compellingly crafted anti-consumptive message written into WALL-E, which still manages to recognizing that there is genuine joy to be found in the items we surround ourselves with, but that when they stop bringing us joy, we're doing it wrong...

The second, was my exposure to a Disney trailer that has converted me into believing that it is possible for a message to transcend the allegory of marketing messages being toxic, and actually be capable of hurting my brain directly.

That trailer was for Beverly Hills Chihuahua, and to get the full theater effect play the video in full screen mode while having a friend put you in a full nelson and press your face into the screen.

I predict most of you will cry uncle at around 0:50, when the rapping commences. (Youtube link for the quicktime less).

 U

What could be a nerdier follow-up to posting a word problem?

How about a video showing what magnetic fields look like?

I don't think good bloggers post word problems...

A lot of people are thinking of trading in their cars as of late.

Up for a little word puzzle?

Let's say you are a two car family, and both of you drive your cars 10,000 miles a year.

For whatever reason, you have two options:

• Upgrade your aging sedan which gets 35 mpg with a hybrid that gets 50 mpg, an increase of 15 mpg.
• Trade in your SUV which gets 15 mpg for a small truck which gets 25 mpg, an increase of 10 mpg.

Which will save you more gas?

The answer seems obvious... Take the 15 mpg increase over 10 mpg, right?

As it turns out, the 10 mpg upgrade of the more inefficient vehicle saves you 3 times more gas then the 15 mpg increase.

Lest you accuse me of mathemagicrafterary, you can see the graphical details laid bare here (found via Make).

vs

So my wife and I were having a picturesque luncheon at the "Turtle Island Cafe" near Essex, NY. Having talked her parents into babysitting, we were languishing in the luxury of peace and quiet.

We began discussing turtles, and more over, the origin of their important symbollic place in Stephen King's "A Dark Tower" series. This wandered into my description of the cosmological half-joke of Turtles all the way down..

Our salads came, and somehow, Elyssa laughingly brought up a joke from season 5 of Angel, regarding the silly question of who would win in a fight between a caveman and an astronaut.

Elyssa laughed, assuming that I would side with the astronaut, whose victory could be nothing other than manifest. Ever so politely, I began making my argument for that of the caveman.

Needless to say, this fundamental disagreement consumed the rest of our lunch together.

But, like all factual disputes, only the Internet can truly decide. And so I leave it to you.

Here are the facts we ended up agreeing upon:

• No weapons
• It must be assumed to be in some sort of unescapable alien arena, say 50 yards in diameter
• Military airforcemen receive very little practical hand to hand fighting training
• The cavemen is likely shorter, and less nourished than the astronaut
• The cavemen will have a larger/more potent adrenal response system.

Stuff I *never* do during work

I'm on vacation for a week.

Here's some things on the internet that I enjoy:

Nerd Funnies by Tripod:

• An Uncomfortably Accurate Song (give it a minute)
• Hot Girl in the Comic Shop

Weighty Decisions starring Ed Helm and Rob Corddry.

Hardly Working.

Current.com's Campaign Update, a Daily Hyperdense 2 minute Slurry of Current Events and Funny.

And when that runs out:

http://bestofyoutube.com

Because Youtube's front page is useless.

Hobbit or Not

Many people say or do things they regret while tipsy, I am no exception.

Two weeks ago whilst in Chicago, my male friend Kamil who has a better blog than me broke out some Romanian plum moonshine, of which he observed all relevant customs laws bringing back with him into our country.

Even though I really only had a taste of the stuff, it was enough to give me the confidence to loudly proclaim that my toes were very much like a hobbit's.

Jeers of disbelief and reproach rose up from both Kamil and My male friend Jason who doesn't have a blog. My male friend Mike who doesn't have a blog was present, but more reserved, saying nothing on the matter. One can only assume that he possesses toes one might confuse with an elven princess, and that his silence was an attempt to cloak his toe shame.

The arguments became quite heated, and in attempt to halt the argument before it escalated, I declared that we should let the Internet arbitrate for us, letting it's denizens determine who amongst us possesses the most "Bilbo-esk" of feet (Which I'm pretty sure is the reason the Greeks invented Democracy in the first place).

Pictures were taken on my camera phone, and forgotten until I came across them last night. But are now available for your viewing.

So go cast your vote.

And go here to keep track of the results.

The foot display order on the voting page is randomized to control for display bias. And I shall be monitoring the IP addresses of those voting in case ballot stuffing occurs, or if my toes aren't winning by enough.

Kids These Days

Here is the intro for a show called "Boohbah" on PBS HD. Words fail me.

The Weekly Show

This is me plugging the weekly show called "infoMania" on Current.com

It's format is vaguely reminiscent of The Daily Show, which isn't a surprise since it was developed by the co-creator of TDS Madeleine Smithberg.

What is a surpise is how favorably it compares. If nothing its fresher take on the format serves to highlight how much TDS has been aging.

You can either watch all their clips individually, or all rolled up in a "grandpa's TV shows" format. I personally enjoy the rolled up version.

( Although I make an exception for some of Sarah Haskins truly outstanding contributions: here and here.)

Yet Another Iraq Post

So, America has a lot of problems right now.

Our economy is getting anvils dropped on its testicles. Americans are growing war weary as the hopes for any sort of decisive victory fade away. And Muslims in the region are growing increasingly convinced that the U.S. is doing it all because we are enemies of their faith.

As luck would have it, I have a ridiculous, yet humorously plausible solution to propose!

As in any situation, we just need to turn the *weaknesses* of the current war into *positives*. So we invaded a sovereign nation, murdered hundreds of thousands of it's inhabitants, tried to take it's natural resources all against the will of the United Nations.

So what's the positive there? That the United Nations will ignore us if we invade a sovereign nation and take it's stuff!!!

Really the only problem with their original plan, was trying to steal something as unportable as underground oil reserves.

Another problem with the war in Iraq, is that it lacks a good villain. Insurgents don't wear uniforms, in fact, they're often indistinguishable from the civilians! Again, the idea of us facing a big scary enemy was good, but the casting was wrong. They should have gone with Nazis.

"But Kyle, you say, there really aren't any Nazi's around any more."

Well, there weren't any Al-Qaida in Iraq either (I mean, it was a secular state), so all we have to do is *claim* there are Nazis.

"But Kyle, how is any of this going to help the falling dollar?"

That's a good question me! The biggest problem with oil, is that it's cost is still pegged to the dollar, and that's getting lapped by the Canadian dollar. What we need is a lot of a strong currency. Euros ideally.

So here's the plan. We pull all of our troops out of Iraq. On their way home, we have them make some "stops" at key European banks, accuse them of hoarding old Nazi treasure, give them 24 hours to admit to it, when they don't we bust in with all the shock and awe we can muster, and "liberate" all those old Nazi Euros. The troops then come home, having vanquished the Nazi's, yet again, and come barring war chests, adorned with spray paint swastikas, overflowing with billions of a stable currency.

"But Kyle, won't that make all of Europe mad?"

Probably, but they're already mad at us, and we've been testing their limits for awhile now. Ignoring the Geneva convention both on the field and off, kidnapping their citizens and torturing them, running secret torture camps on their soil, and sending Tom Cruise to film a movie there.

Of those only the Tom Cruise thing really seemed like we had stepped too far...

"But isn't stealing wrong?"

Morally speaking, just stealing some money seems hand over foot more ethical than any of that other stuff. I mean, if having the military rob banks saves just one Iraqi civilian life, I think it's our moral imparative to do so.

Everybody Else's Space

Save for my friends who have blogs, today was the first time where I actually visited a myspace for more than 2 seconds:

And was glad I did.

In the end, something just needs to be interesting to be entertaining. Which I think is something that I'm having a harder time remembering by the day.

How he likes those words

Do you like preachy high-concept short stories which are poorly written?

Then boy do I have the right 5000 characters for you!

D'enouement

Bloomberg has released a study that says post-war suicides may exceed the combat deaths in Iraq.

Much has been yelled about Iraq, mostly about civilian deaths, insufficient planning, it's staggering financial burden, distorted motives, and several metric tons of "I told ya so"s. All gripes about the most tangible things in the war.

What I think makes this war particularly unforgivable are the grievances made against the human spirit.

Sure civilian deaths are bad, but when they exceed the capacity of the local morgues, that's not only means civilians are dying on a higher scale, but that their bodies aren't even being treated with respect.

We are encouraged to "support the troops", but returning troops, if alive are greeted with inadequate health care, with aggressive wheedling to keep them from disability pay, and the dead ones return to little recognition.

We keep hearing and seeing documentation about how both the Iraqis and our own soldiers are being caught doing incredibly evil things.

Whether you believe the soul to be something greater, or a healthy feedback loop made of neurons, it's hard to dispute that this war is destroying them with a frightening eagerness and efficiency.